228: First sign of fall!

The boys started football practice on Friday. Just a few more weeks till my favorite time of year.

220: post party

Walking back to the car after Monte's birthday party... I can't believe all these babies from last year are turning one! We're almost through all the first birthdays. Kind of sad how fast the time goes.

195: a few more games of Mariner baseball

102: "Do you want to build a snowman?"

This is Montana. We always have at least one good snowstorm in April--usually just after we've had some 70 degree days and start to think maybe it's spring after all.

Also, Frozen songs are being sung on a continual loop around here--today it was the 16-year-old inspired by the weather to sing snowman building requests to anyone in earshot.

84: flippin'

Because he hasn't had any new obsessions lately....

(He tells me he'll master the backflip in time for the Spring choir concert. I guess there's some sort of Footloose number that really needs this move.)

74: Salt Lake Exploration

We spent the day wandering around Salt Lake. It's kind of nice to be without an agenda or anywhere we needed to be at any certain time. After letting everyone sleep in, we walked downtown, explored Temple Square, and then drove over to Antelope Island for the evening and a great sunset.

72: and we're off...

Not even done with finals week, but I stayed up late every night this week getting grading done, told the kids to pack for a week (and didn't have time to check what they actually threw in their bags), and told the kids to remind me to finish payroll from wherever we happen to be tomorrow night...let the adventure begin.

66: Israel's new hobby

Israel pieced together a bike and painted it the other day. Another new hobby I guess while he continues to figure out how to get his go-cart running.

58: I made him carry the basket. The frolicking is all him.

But, the snow was pretty darn perfect for frolicking.

4: First Day of Work

Israel started working at the store today. He was pretty excited about it, but I'm not too thrilled. Only because that means he'll have fewer hours to work for me. I think he's probably more interested in working at the store since the pay is higher than the $0/ hour that I compensate him. I suppose I'm going to have to figure out how to get at least one of these younger boys to be productive.

2: Lazy Day

Israel | 16

My little baby that made me a mama turned 16 today.

I think that means we’re right in the middle of the teenage years, and here’s the surprising thing: I sort of love it. 

Having a teenager has not been awful. (I feel I should be knocking on all the wood I can find and crossing my fingers and toes and holding my breath and maybe not writing this down but just continuing to whisper it quietly to myself as I have been the past few years.)

But so far, it’s been very, very good.

I’ve always loved kids (small, cute little toddler-sized kids) and I always told everyone  (including the high school students I taught) once my kids approached their teen years I’d thought I'd give them to someone else to raise or send them to boarding school.

But now? Mostly I find myself trying to figure out how I can always have one of these teenaged people around. Days when I’m drowning in work, often without being asked, Israel will make dinner or take the baby or clean up.  He’s smart and interesting and good company. His friends are, too.

Of course I like to believe this kid of mine is some sort of gift of karma, like at some point I did something really good and in return, rather than a lot of teenage trouble, I got Israel. 

I know better, but I’m willing to accept the good luck. And if the next few years get rough, I’m still thankful for the past few years we’ve had.

All those clichés about how quickly time passes? All true. But what’s really hard for me is not thinking about how quickly my kids and I keep adding  years to all the ones we’ve already had together, it's realizing how few childhood years we have left. I didn’t ever cry about sending kids off to kindergarten. But that first day of high school? That was a little tough.

Somewhere in the last few years things have shifted, and I realized one morning (in a panicked sort of way) that I’d spent all these years thinking about how I wanted to raise my kids and things I’d like to do together or how our life should be arranged, but all of the sudden I wasn’t just starting this parenthood thing anymore and more of his childhood was past than still remained. Much of the parenting was done. I wasn’t sure how it had happened so quickly, but, for better or worse, the childhood part seemed to slip right past me while I was still getting ready for it.

I don’t ever tell people I wish my kids were still small. I love them small and I love them a little bigger and I love watching them figure out how they’ll take on the world at each new stage. I don't ever want them stuck and not moving forward, but thinking about how they’ll take on the world once they’re no longer coming home each night to tell me about it? That’s hard.

But it’s exciting, too. I think in a lot of ways, for Israel, being an adult will be easier than being a teenager.

He’s already good at many things successful, happy adults need to be good at. He’s a great worker. People noticed this the past few summers and he has more offers for employment than he has time for. He bought his own car a few months ago; he pays his own phone bill.

He spends most of the hours he’s awake learning new things.  His obsessiveness to figure things out occasionally drives me crazy, and his quirkiness sometimes baffles me.   (How many high schoolers do you know who leave the house each morning with a James Dean pompadour and a red Member’s Only jacket?) But he doesn’t sit around much wasting time and he doesn’t need anyone to find him things to do.  He’s engaged with the world around him.

He already gets all the big picture stuff right, which is really what I hope for my kids. He’s kind and patient, and he was better and conversation and caring for people by the time he was three than I was by thirty.

Of course the day-to-day details continue to make us both crazy.

Do your schoolwork. Pick up your clothes. Keep your bedroom and bathroom clean.  And DO YOUR SCHOOLWORK. I feel like I’m repeating the same couple things over and over. It’s all very basic. And it's never done. 

But it's understandable see how those things are all such a low priority which you are so focused on figuring out the science of deduction.

It’s also problematic because I’m still figuring out the parenting thing, and I feel conflicted when I redirect him. Things he's not doing really do need to get done, but rarely are the things he’s doing in place of his obligations bad.

Stop teaching yourself the violin, you have math homework to do.

Please stop writing, and get to work. You’re failing English again.  (Because of all that writing you’re doing?)

No more playing with the baby…your toilet needs to be cleaned.

Put your phone away and get to work. You don’t need to be googling . . . the new recipe for dinner?

It’s all very confusing this obligation to be the responsible adult. 

I have a few other kids who will be teenagers before I know it. I’m pretty sure most of their teenage years will be little more complicated than the ones I’ve lived through so far.

But while I figure out how parents survive and navigate all that, it’s good to have Israel around.  At least until he is pulled away by the possibility of getting rich. It sounds like his next purchase is gold panning equipment. 

It’s always tricky to know where a dreamer with ambition will end up next.

251: rainy day meandering

I spent most of the day hanging out with these two. We were trying to get some pictures of Daij (birthday pictures--he's 13 as of the end of August!) but the weather wasn't really cooperative. We got up really early to get nice morning light, and then there wasn't much morning light because it was so grey and overcast. We kept driving places trying to outrun the rain. It didn't really work. We took a break for a few hours and ventured out again when the rain stopped and the sun came out. But the sun really came out. It was super bright and harsh. Until we had the biggest downpour we've had in months. So, not the best day for pictures, but as far as a pair of teenagers to drive around Montana backroads with for a day? Pretty much a win on that front.

246: Football v Eureka

Tough game against Eureka today.

I like how this picture looks like Israel is running away from home (in full gear with his football).

Sort of weird when you live close enough to the school that your home shows up in football pictures.

242: First Fall Football Road Trip

Zoran taking a break from watching football and his own sideline football games to hang out with his sister so I could take some pictures. (He actually came and asked if he could take her for awhile.) After this Azia took her and feed her. It's so nice for both me and Zayda that she has such great siblings.

We had a super long road trip (3+ hours, one way) to start off the football season. I was surprised my younger kids actually wanted to go. We almost decided not to at the last minute, but then they were sad they were going to miss Israel's first football game of the year. I actually don't mind the drive to Eureka, at least I wouldn't it I was someone who liked drives at all. It's really pretty getting there and the town is in a great area. . . if it only wasn't three hours away. Although having kids that want to do sports in rural Montana is improving my hatred of driving. My kids are so much better at road trips than I am. They like going places and they're all getting pretty knowledgeable about Montana geography, too. Lex likes to memorize the order of little towns along each long route. They're all collecting favorite stops in some of the towns we pass through more often.

240: Another FIrst Day

It is becoming increasingly difficult to get them all to stay in one place for a few minutes before school, or actually it's even difficult find (or make) a few minutes where their schedules overlap and they're all at home at dressed at the same time these days, even on the first day.

But I'm going to keep making them do it at least once a year anyway. These are the sorts of posed and awkward photos that I know we'll all want in twenty years. Or maybe even next year. It's fun (and somehow also sad at the same time) to see how quickly everyone changes.

236: morning greetings

What is she going to do when all her company goes back to school in a few days?

And what am I going to do??!!

234: Griz Encounter (which is way more fun than school shopping)

Zoran and Lex getting autographs.

I was going to take the boys down to Missoula to get some school supplies (since we've done none of that sort of thing yet) and I thought we'd stop by the Griz Encounter for a little bit first so they could see the football team and hang out for a little while. We pretty much just stayed there all evening. Apparently an entire college football team, friends from home, dozens of food vendors, and music is more fun than getting some paper and pencils. Who would have guessed?

I'm glad my kids don't care too much about new school things. I don't usually buy much: some shoes (because for some reason they all love shoes even though they rarely wear them?), maybe a new shirt or two for those that need them at that point, and whatever their teachers request for supplies. This year I was a little annoyed because most of them actually do need some clothes and I don't have money to buy anything. Of course really they don't need anything. And it doesn't matter that much if they get some pants two weeks from now rather than for the first day, but it is nice to get a few things so they're a little more excited about starting the new year.

But, Israel came home with a bag of stuff he bought at the local thrift shop the other day on the way home from football practice and told me he was pretty much done with whatever shopping he needed to do, though he thought at some point he should get a coat before it got cold. Azia said she didn't really need anything because she got a big bag of hand-me-downs from her friend Sophia last month. My two little boys have been obsessed with looking up different styles and colors and types of (mostly expensive) shoes online for the last couple weeks, but then they each found an $11 pair during the one stop we made on the way home tonight and they are super excited about that. They believe they are totally set for school. I need to gather those paper and pencils to stuff in their backpacks, and I think we're ready.

So I guess that means I can spend the money when I finally do get paid in a few weeks on school supplies for me? I really would like a new outfit or two. . . maybe some shoes, too. Apparently I'm much more materialistic than my children.

218: Jump.

210: Lots of napping going on here. . .

and Israel is always looking for a reason for a nap.