Zayda: 11 months

Another month gone!

I think she changed as much in her tenth month of any other so far; she is growing and figuring out things so quickly.

Zayda's current favorite chair. Usually it sits in the living room so she can climb in and out of it all day.

After she figured out crawling last month, she hasn't spent much time sitting still. She can follow the other kids more effectively and get into everything much more quickly now. She has also graduated to climbing. She climbs up stairs, and just generally spends a lot of time trying to get to new places.

She has zero interest in walking yet, and if you try to stand her up she just goes limp till you put her down and she can crawl away. But, she pulls herself up (and if she doesn't just keep climbing to the top of tables or chairs to sit down) she'll pull herself up and walk along them. 

Her exploring has resulted in a few tumbles off things, so she's aware of edges and the heights of things now. She doesn't fall off things very often, but she loves pushing anything she can get her hands on off edges and throwing everything on on the ground.  It's even more fun if she has someone who will pick whatever she's knocked down back up for her so she can throw it again.

And she is getting pretty good at throwing things. Zoran's working on catching with her, too, so she can play basketball with him. Zayda loves basketball and softball now. She'll crawl over to the fence and pull herself up to watch and cheer for Azia during tournaments. She will sit at the edge of the living room yelling and cheering for Lex and Zoran and their daily, mini-basketball games. Of course she also loves drawing all over things–paper or walls or herself, so she may have no time for sports if her devotion to her art continues to grow.

She also loves food despite the fact that she still has no teeth! She wants to eat whatever everyone else is eating. She also loves sunflower seeds. Of course sunflower seeds are not at all a baby food, but she will steal them out of my bag or wherever she can find them, and if I let her have them (which of course I understand is a bad idea) she just puts them in her mouth, sucks on them a bit, and spits them out. I'm not sure why I find it so entertaining. She really isn't aware she's still a baby sometimes.

She's kind of over wearing headbands or hats these days. I can sometimes get her to leave pigtails in, but that's about it. She'll occasionally wear a headband for a minute or two. I'm going to try to give her some sort of haircut to tame the wild craziness sometime this month. Hopefully I do a bit better than last time I trimmed her bangs. It's been a month, but her hair is still recovering. Good thing she's cute.

I love how interactive she is these days. She copies everything and tries to repeat things. She tries to put on her clothes and shoes and socks. (Quite unsuccessfully at this point, but she gets the idea.) She'll also try to put things away or pack up her bag. Bob is still probably her favorite word/ sound, but she's also started saying "Yep." Only sometimes appropriately, but it's pretty cute.


 

This month also brought on a little attitude. She's been so calm and easy-going since birth. She's still happy (so happy that strangers often comment on how happy she seems to be) but she's definitely sassier. She throws things she doesn't want, ignores people purposely, and will yell (which is different than crying) if you do something she doesn't like. She's pretty tiny; I guess she's going to make sure people pay attention to her.

But mostly, she just seems interested in everything. She loves animals, loves her rambunctious, annoying brothers and the crazy rides they give her in the stroller. She spends a lot of time trying to take lids off things and put them back on, and she's become obsessed with both my nose ring and belly button. She's always examining and picking at them.

And music. She likes it more and more all the time. She steals cell phones to listen to and will bob and dance along when you turn on something she likes.

A few more weeks and she'll be standing up, dancing right on through that first birthday!

Zayda: 10 Months!

10 months old and on the move!

A day or so after she turned nine months she finally just got up on all fours one day and just started crawling across the living room floor. She hasn't slowed down since.

 She pulls herself up to stand against things and moves along the coffee table and other furniture, usually trying to get herself in the middle of whatever is going on.

  The weather is nicer and now she loves being outside. After a few times of initially not being real fond of the feel grass, she got over that quickly and loves to crawl around outside.

She's beginning to understand more--she knows her name and definitely understands "no." (Though following the directions, not so much.) She also likes the words "go" and "bye" because they mean she gets to go somewhere.  She tries to say things--kitty is still one of her favorites, though it sounds more like part hissing, part choking, part "kiiitttteee." But she knows what she means. She's pretty excited about most animals. She loves playing with cats and dogs and is interested in whatever animals we happen to see.

She's a good sleeper and sleeps all night if I don't wake her up getting into bed. (She still sleeps with me...apparently the big bed is better than her little crib.) She slept all night pretty much right after she was born, but when I went back to work after a few months it messed up her sleeping, and I think she preferred not to have bottles while I was gone so she just switched to waking up a few times at night to eat. Hopefully she's growing out of that now that she eats all sorts of real food.

She seems to have grown out of her worry-of-others phase. She's more eager to make the rounds and visit with everyone when we're out somewhere or visiting someone. She's still generally happy almost all the time--to the extent that when we're out and about strangers even comment on how smiley and good-natured she is. Hopefully she doesn't grow out of that!

My Mother.

“Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. That is not our business and, in fact, it is nobody’s business. What we are asked to do is to love, and this love itself will render both ourselves and our neighbors worthy.”

― Thomas Merton

 

That’s my mom.

My mother’s commitment to her family is very visible; she is always surrounded by family. It’s hard to catch her without a baby in her arms, a few preschool kids running in circles around her, school-aged kids in her classroom before and after school. She spends much of her free time driving across the valley to performances and athletic competitions. All of her children have been adults for a long time now, and she's still taking care of all of us in various ways. She’s also spent a lot of hours taking care of her and my father’s parents over the last decade.  Her family is, and always has been, her first priority. There is no discussion of who deserves what. She just makes sure people have what they need.

Valerie with a string of a few of her grandkids, 2012

As I try to figure out how to balance my five kids, the challenges of a career in education, the hours dedicated to being a volunteer EMT with the various other ways I’m invested in the same community that has invested in me,  I have a great role model, who has been balancing all those same things, humbly and with excellence my entire life.

I don't make most decisions about my life as consciously as I probably should, but I realized a few years ago that all the big pieces of my life look an awful lot like the woman's I admire most. Probably not coincidence.

I have never once felt our family wasn’t the most important piece of my mom’s life or that she was too busy to be everywhere I needed her to be and do everything I needed my mom to do, yet she’s been a professional since before I was born. She’s educated and ambitious. She started teaching before I came along and has been to graduate school a few times for a few different specialties since. She has had an active EMT license longer nearly anyone in the state of Montana.
 

She’s covered more calls than anyone in the history of our local ambulance service.  And nearly every year she still covers as much as anyone on the crew.

 Mom receiving her award in February from Montana governor Steve Bullock for her years of service to our ambulance service.

About once a month someone calls the ambulance and when I walk in, someone there calls me by name—my mother’s name—always happy I’ve arrived. She's been taking care of the people in the community for so long, many of them think she is the ambulance service. There’s no one I’d rather be mistaken for.

 Mom and me at EMT training in Las Vegas

When we’re training new people for the ambulance, we always remind them to pay attention to who your patients are. Sometimes the ones who need the most care and attention aren’t the ones with the most obvious or traumatic looking injuries. Sometimes they may have not been physically injured at all, but that doesn’t mean what they need at that moment is any less important. I can problem solve injuries and remain calm while doing CPR, but those calls where you need to calm and comfort those in emotional distress? When you need to know what is appropriate, silence or words? It’s hard for me. Impossible sometimes. When you work on the ambulance you often walk in to people's lives on the worst day they’ve ever had. When your life falls apart, my mother is exactly the type of person you want at your side. And for many people in our community, for many decades, that person has been my mother.

She's a teacher by nature but also by training. I can't imagine anyone better to help new EMTs learn the practical pieces of the job or to teach my own children to love reading. But she's also taught hundreds of local children who've passed through her classrooms over the years. She is truly an expert in her field. I think she's taught nearly every elementary grade and currently teaches middle school special education. Many people (myself included) couldn't do that job at all; few could do it anywhere near as well as she does.

Helping students get their boats they built ready to race--one of the components of the Watershed summer program she designed and facilitated for local kids for many years.  


She is the type of teacher every kid deserves and far too few get. She is thinking about them and working for them far beyond the school day. We gave her a hard time a few years ago when she accidentally posted a picture with a couple students to our family facebook group. Her response: “They’re like family. Maybe that’s where it belongs.” She spends hours outside of school trying to figure out how to better help all these kids.

One of the many times she's invited her students to ride in the ambulance with her for one of the local parades.



A few years ago I went to watch the 8th grade promotion, and realized the latest sewing project my mom had been working on was a dress for one of her students for this occasion. She just does stuff like this. All the time. And she’s been doing it for more than three decades now. These kids aren’t just her job—they’re people she cares about and they know it.

Encouraging some middle school students during their spring 5K– one by running the entire race right at his side and the other (her grandson) with some good old fashion encouragement: "Are you going to let your Grandmother beat you?!" 

 

My mom has been recognized in many different ways over the course of her teaching career. This is a picture with her mother at the dinner where she was recognized by our local tribe as teacher of the year.

 A year or so ago I read the Marie Stopes quote, “You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But, if you are beautiful at 60 it will be all your own doing.” It reminded me of my mom, just about to turn 60. 

I’ve worked with a lot of 16-years-olds, and I think one of the hardest things about helping them sort out their lives and make good decisions is that many think what they have in front of them at that point is as good as it gets.  

Mom at the Arlee Powwow with her mother-in-law and a trio of her granddaughters

They don’t understand how much more there is to look forward to. I think sometimes the rest of of us who are starting figure that out don’t do a good enough job reminding our daughters of all the different ways life allows you to become more and more beautiful and amazing once you survive 16.

Mom flying kites with my kids.

I’m not sure if my Mom is really excited about me sharing her age with everyone, but I think it’s sort of a public service announcement or maybe just reminder for all her granddaughters watching her every day: Pay attention to what a life well lived looks like. 

Annual New Year's Day Polar Plunge--mom leading four of her kids and about a dozen of her grandkids in!

 
She’s done such a good job at the mom thing, I’m often left wondering why my kids haven’t caught on to the lessons she taught me. While dealing with my own kids, more than once I’ve caught my self thinking , “Why aren’t you doing this like you’re supposed to?! Mom has been telling us this forever!”

And then I remember I’m the mom. Or their mom at least. Why can’t lessons be hereditary? It would make my life so much easier.

 Mom being honored by her work at the tribes' annual River Honoring

But luckily, for all of us, my kids do have my mom, too. Their grandmother isn’t someone they just see on holidays or talk to on the phone on birthdays. They all see her nearly every day. Yaya's home is their favorite place to be.  

They are learning from her, daily lessons both big and small.

 

Be kind. Get outside. Work hard. Take care of each other. Take care of yourself, too. Teach one another. Never stop learning. Build something people want to be a part of.

Welcome people as they are and help them become better version of themselves.

Arm wrestling Israel a few years ago. She won. (I think he's added about 50-60 pounds since this picture. She has not asked for a rematch recently. ;) )

 Mom running the Buffalo Run. It's a little embarrassing, but also awesome that my mom could easily beat me in a race. She works out every morning.

Finishing the race the following year...this time with a group of her granddaughters
 

dancing with Azia at the Mission school powwow
 

 

And I’m still learning too. She was my first teacher. 

1977, maybe?

She is still the best one I’ve ever had.

She still teaches me things every day.

Possibly most importantly:

Do some things right, make some good choices, and this is what 60 could look like.